Spiritual Wounds

February 9, 2025

Sunday AM Service

Genesis 32; Psalm 25

And Jacob said, O God of my father Abraham, and God of my father Isaac, the Lord which saidst unto me, Return unto thy country, and to thy kindred, and I will deal well with thee: I am not worthy of the least of all the mercies, and of all the truth, which thou hast shewed unto thy servant; for with my staff I passed over this Jordan; and now I am become two bands. Deliver me, I pray thee, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau: for I fear him, lest he will come and smite me, and the mother with the children. And thou saidst, I will surely do thee good, and make thy seed as the sand of the sea, which cannot be numbered for multitude. And he rose up that night, and took his two wives, and his two womenservants, and his eleven sons, and passed over the ford Jabbok. And he took them, and sent them over the brook, and sent over that he had. And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day. And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched the hollow of his thigh; and the hollow of Jacob's thigh was out of joint, as he wrestled with him. And he said, Let me go, for the day breaketh. And he said, I will not let thee go, except thou bless me. And he said unto him, What is thy name? And he said, Jacob. And he said, Thy name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel: for as a prince hast thou power with God and with men, and hast prevailed. And Jacob asked him, and said, Tell me, I pray thee, thy name. And he said, Wherefore is it that thou dost ask after my name? And he blessed him there. And Jacob called the name of the place Peniel: for I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved. (Gen 32:9...24)

Theme of past few weeks has been God's voice; Jesus voice, and prayer. Sermon thoughts went to "... saidst unto me, Return ... and I will deal well with thee:". These bring to mind where I felt God's voice saying "Get Up", and "Go". I prayed that same prayer "Deliver me, I pray thee, from..." this spiritual battle. I was fearful "...lest he (Satan) will come and smite me, and ..." my family. I also see where "...Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day."

I know there were many times where I was "left alone". Many times where I wrestled in prayer seeking a blessing, but it was a physical blessing. God did bless me physically and spiritually. My thoughts today where I can see where "I am not worthy ... of all the mercies, and of all the truth, which thou hast shewed unto thy servant."

Preaching went into Psalm 25 should reference more. Powerful verse "Unto thee, O Lord, do I lift up my soul...". Follow up on later time.

Thoughts later at home...

Thorn in side... my thoughts after spiritual battles were the gaping wounds, the arrows in my side, the thorns in my side... I was praying to God. I saw the battlefield He cleared, but spiritual wounds were too hard, spiritual memories were killing me. I was praying, I know you can't remove this thorn, like Paul it was a thorn that bothered him. Mine was a spiritual thorn, a bunch of Satan's arrows that he reminded me of every day, from waking until sleeping; for a few years. I prayed thinking, God, I know with free will these things happen. I know you can't do it. I was praying in vain. Praying you can't erase my memories of the battles. Praying it's ok, I understand just like Paul had his thorns in his life, it humbled him. I thought this was my path, what I would need to bear.

Read today in Proverbs 25:11 about Solomon's "word fitly spoken." How we should choose our wording and timing wisely. Then I remembered God waiting, "Wait Upon the Lord." Where I waited for an answer, didn't get one. Then got one, then another through the years. But when He opened scripture to me and showed me an abundance of answers to my prayers, where I had to say stop, it's too much, I won't remember all this. When He showed me my struggles in prayer through my whole life, where He, in a teaching, loving way, showed me I had been praying in vain, not expecting. The timing "word fitly spoken" when I had gone through the struggles, gone through the prayers, lived the trials, watched God clear the battlefield, and was sitting on the battlefield nursing my wounds for over a year. When I was under that table listening to God, then He said to me through His spirit, I pray the way I do, because I "tremble" at His word, not in fear but a deep reverence. Then in a teaching manner, He told me, but you pray in vain, not expecting me to answer. In a way, it was as if Job had to be told...I created all these... To me, it was God saying I created all these things, I can do all these things.

Then I agreed and prayed a series of prayers; then was whisked away 10,000 miles across the world. God answered these prayers in real time, first one major prayer, then the next right when I thought of one of my prayers. When I thought of not praying in vain, He answered it immediately. It kept continuing, prayer after prayer. Personal prayers that only God and I knew. Personal thoughts that God knows our thoughts. I remember thinking at one moment of the scripture "Faith moves mountains." I felt like I could do anything with God on my side.

This led to an even more amazing moment upon returning, where God showed me several prayers that I prayed when I felt I was alone. He showed me my prayers, showed me my thoughts, showed me the covenant I had made with Him. He showed me the battles, showed me the victories He had done for me even when I prayed in vain. I have never felt so much love for me; I felt the John 3:16 in my life where God so loved the world.